Eden Hirsch, age 16

This Garfunkel and Oates-esque song was inspired by my Jewish background interacting with my American nationality and love of holidays such as Christmas and Halloween.

Assimilated

Verse

Instead of Halloween, we got Purim
But that gets pretty borin’
With all those megillah readin’s you gotta do
I’d be fine being a bad Jew
If that means I get year’s worth of candy
For walking ’round a block or two

Chorus

And soo …
They call me assimilated
I’ll say, I can’t debate it
’Cause the Valentines I’ve received
Gotta number in the 70s!

And technically there’s Tu B’av,
The minor holiday of love
But for a girlfriend,
Would you ever get her
A romantic Tu B’av letter?

(Gesture for a response; audience remains silent.)

My point stands!